Saturday, 2 October 2010

Black Book

I haven’t seen mine in years. I suppose what it should contain are names and numbers and if one wasn’t asking for too much then addresses. That would be what it was meant for. Mine did and then some. Mine contains my first attempt at putting a dream on paper. Bizarre happenings to be more precise!
This is going back some time now. My first real job, I am a graduate fresh out of university. The secretary of our department approaches me. I think we like each other, she is a year younger than me and the work environment is still new to both of us. We have this way of communicating, sort of like fencing, her role is that of the vulnerable helpless female, mine the valiant knight to the rescue. This works for us until this one day that common sense departs from my shores and the results were, well let’s just say, here’s why my black book isn’t normal.
This time she tells me about her cat. She tells me it got old and died. I should know better, be thoughtful and have empathy, offer my condolences. Nope, not this time. I don’t think my feelings are hidden from my face when my response comes through implying that it’s just a cat so why the fuss. She takes it in her stride, unassuming and we talk about other things. I think nothing of it after all I did listen and spoke my mind. No one said there was anything wrong with being honest.
Nighttime comes and I am in a deep sleep dreaming, I am back as a child in my parents home and I am alone in this huge house. I feel myself being pulled and dragged in all directions. My adversaries are far stronger than me so I decide to escape. I run away from them sneak into one of the rooms where I think I would be safe until yonder. As I shut the door behind me what I see before me is this cat staring straight at me with yellow eyes that now shine in the dark. I open the door and run like a lunatic. I know a safe place somewhere out side that has stairs, very high stairs that no one can reach me. I mount them two at a time running for my dear life and at the top of these stairs is that cat again. As I turn to go down the stairs there are a pool of cats at the bottom all looking up at me. Suddenly I wake up in a sweat, breathless and worn out. As I lie in bed wondering why I would be dreaming of cats it suddenly occurs to me what had taken place during the day. I jump out of bed and search for a pen and paper. The first thing I see right there is none other than a black book that had been abandoned for years. I start scribbling, I don’t want to forget this moment.
The next day I can’t wait for her to show. I rush to her with my story, demanding to know more about her cat. She shows me its picture, giggles and laughs at me after reading my dream. Then she is sympathetic but the words she utters are,
‘Serves you right!’
Well, I think I learned my lesson. Today I keep that black book hidden somewhere within to keep me in line when I forget myself...

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