I woke up one morning pondering through the landscape of events in our lives and asking myself why I had moved away from so many things and places. I wondered why we believed we needed to correct the mistakes of our past to make our future better. Each time I thought of a mistake in the past and the effort and imagination that was necessary to eradicate it from the future, life suddenly became bleak. As I sunk into this reverie of thought and counter thought without any signs for reprieve, I heard a quiet voice calling to me to listen to my spirit and not my needs and demands. So I said to this voice,
“Father, once again I am stuck for words to explain my misery. I have no consolation from my mistakes yet the world demands that we learn from them. If my past was a mistake because today I believe that I am not better off than I was before then why am I in such doubt to make these changes?”
And the voice of the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
“Father, it is because I hunger for more in life. I wish for better, yet it does not escape my mind that with better times come the weakness of heart and strength. However the pain surpasses me as the dilemma remains muddled in my mind.”
And again the voice of the Lord responded to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father, am I alone on this path? Is it my imagination that creates the world I live in? How can I understand the poverty in the world? How can I understand the tribulations that the poor face? Take the events of pollution, earthquakes, tornadoes that kill, what is the reason for this? Amidst all of this am I selfish in my thoughts for demanding that my life has more meaning, that I can seek a better place to dwell in. Can I help make it better for others?”
Once more the voice of the Lord answered me and said:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father like everyone else I watch the news, the programs, read books, magazines, newspapers, this is the way people lead their lives. A regular pattern is created and I can see that they exist in this pattern. On Sundays they go to church to worship you. Others don’t and care less other wise. A routine is built by doing what one prefers to do. I don’t have any answers, yet in all of this I ask one question why do I hesitate to follow this pattern or even to seek one?”
And once more the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father I have no idea why. All I know is that this is what everyone else seems to do. If one does anything different they say you are weird. Yet I can’t help but feel that if I do not do things differently then I become a victim of society. My goodness, Father has the world gone crazy! You should see the nonsense that I have to watch on television these days. Poor singers that claim to know much. Children that smoke at will and abuse their parents; divorces and countless marriages; rights, movements; expensive cars that one cannot afford, technology that makes man believe that he can get to mars, yet I am still bemused as to why! In all of this, Father the world has said that these things are normal and that we must live by them so I guess there is my dilemma. I have to accept these rules and live by them else I may be an outcast and then Father where would I be? So I think of the changes but still I have my doubts as to why I have to make these changes. Why should others control my virtues and my reasons for existing?”
And again the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
This is how things went on for awhile until I fell silent with nothing forthcoming. I had said what I had to and could think of nothing else. I had screamed and shouted at the storm and now I wondered at what else to say to the Lord and then the Lord said to me:
“My son, the spiritual man does not live by what he sees, what he hears and what society has to offer. He lives by my word and the spirit of truth in him. Do what feels natural when you feel like doing it because that is what I desire of you. It is wrong to do evil as I have said in my word, it is wrong to think evil as I have said in my word.”
And just as I decided to say:
“Father you are….”
The voice of the Lord thundered at me and said:
“SILENCE! You have spoken your mind and now you must listen very carefully. The spiritual world is not created from your imagination. I do not talk to the world by the things of men and what man creates from his machinations. I talk to the world by the truth of my word. I said that there would be offences in the day, so there are. The disasters of pollution, earthquakes, tornadoes, aids, sickness, famines are all real, moments of truth for you all to understand that I am real. I am the voice of the Lord and no man can change what I have said would be. What happens to all of you every day of your lives is what has to happen to all of you during this time of your life. Do not worry about others or what they think or what they believe. Do what is the truth to you and your spirit. If you abide by my word then all would be understood and revealed in time. I do not wish to give the world creations from man’s imagination and what man has chosen to be the values and virtues of life, I give the world my word and my promise for this is the truth and each moment in life is a period of existence of my word. So I give the world a moment of truth. Sometimes this is pleasant when you enjoy what I have made you to have and at other times this is not pleasant. In order for my word to abide in you it is necessary that on some occasions you all bear the burden of this truth. This does not mean that you will understand why things happen the way they do on all occasions. What is of importance to you all is that these things happen because I have said they would and that is my decision.”
And a silence beyond comprehension descended upon me as I wondered what I had just witnessed. For the first time it dawned on me why I was having those thoughts and decisions to make in the first place. They were another passing moment I had to live through. It wasn’t the fact that I was thinking what I was thinking or doing what I was doing it was simply the fact that I was living with the grace of the Lord within.
Today I have learnt that the spiritual world is not about the many wars, woes and throes that we face. The spiritual world is not about what we see on our televisions or what man has created to be our normality for us to live in. The spiritual world is about life and its breath within us.
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