Treasure Island - My Rock of Ages

What I feel with both hands in the air is not victory. What I feel with both hands in the air is not loss. What I feel with both hands in the air is wonder. I can’t look back because I know no answers lie there. I choose moments, places and times to come as each song reaches my core and opens a new vacuum. I am the voyager, the stranger, the wind that blows in every direction, in your direction. I am no one and I am me. I know that this feeling is strength because having been here so many times before victory was never too far off in the distance. Come dance with me, be my shadow and feel the strangeness of my land. Pause, feel it now, do you? You are walking, moving, dancing. That’s it! Run with me, fly, feel your arms, wave in the air. It’s the beat, it speeds up and then slows down. Get the rhythm, feel it in your limbs, then slowly let it reach your heart, now it’s in your mind and then it’s you! Yes it’s you, no more me I was long gone my time is over. It was a passing moment, a fleeting instant when I was me, that part in you that lighted the room.

Oh, the cavalry! How dare you interrupt my odyssey? Don’t you know what it takes to reach this place, this void, this moment? Ah, how can you? Where art thou, Oh Lord? How far art thou dear Lord? Well perhaps you are in front of me, no behind me, that’s wrong too, you are within. Yes you are eternal light, my redeemer, my messiah, my gift. You are my direction, my hope and my life. There they go, they run from us in fright, they haven’t seen us, heard us. Have we been silent, I doubt it but how does our voice surface in these times, in these extremities. Ah! There they go the lights, the streets, the cars, what they call reality, every path leading to an adjourning path that leads to another, endlessly. I’d like to follow, love to but can’t keep up, there are so many.

How can I forget Lord? It was Paris 1999 when they pulled up. Then I was in my prime another time and another place I can’t even remember what I ordered. Was it soup, I guess it was. Hand on chin, eyes facing a grey sky darkened by shadows, words of solitude, heart of warmth, fingers that cringe as they type. I have again risen from the dead to be who I was meant to be. I am Cephas, I am the truth and I am the better part of me. I am back.

‘You called and I am here, what’s the matter beloved?’ Cephas asks.

‘Felt a little low today, I needed you,’ I reply.

‘I’m here now what can I do?’

‘I am having one of those days when you need something to happen, just something to make you feel alive.’

‘You are alive. Explain.’

‘I badly need some form of comfort here, something, anything.’

‘You have forgotten then.’

‘Forgotten what?’

‘The twenty five.’ Cephas replied.

‘The twenty five?’ I ask.

‘Yes, and don’t pretend you don’t know who I mean, tell them now.’

‘Who would believe me, where do I start, I haven’t got the credentials, no name, nothing.’

‘You have me, you have him, you have the Father, that’s a good place to start.’

‘But what would they think of me.’

‘Not your call, the Father’s.’

‘Is that it?’ I ask.

‘That’s it. And please don’t call me again, by now you should know what to do,’ Cephas snaps and is gone and I am left again alone with you. Well, this is what he meant by the twenty five.

On Thursday 18th February 2010, I received this note from Canon Michael Ainsworth of St. George-in-the-East in London:

I don't know where you are based, but our congregation at St George-in-the-East (in Tower Hamlets, about a mile east of the Tower of London) is very small - usually about 25 adults - and I suspect it would not be worth your while coming here to promote your book at a Sunday service. Nor do we at present have any other suitable opportunities during the week. I think you would fare better at other churches with larger numbers!

However, if despite this, and you live locally, you wish to come and meet the congregation (who are a very mixed bunch in every way!) with copies of your book, you could perhaps say a few words over coffee after the service (which I would flag up in the sermon).

I agreed to go despite the numbers. I knew there was no chance of a book sale but I felt it was my duty to accept this invitation and share my experience.

Now it just so happens that during this period I had been reading the bible continuously as I often do, don’t ask me why, its routine, it strengthens my faith, my spirit and what I write. It just so happens that I was reading the book of Ezekiel. It just so happens that on the Sunday morning that I decided to attend this particular church to introduce my new book, Eli this is what I read:

‘Moreover the spirit lifted me up and brought me unto the east gate of the Lord’s house, which looketh eastward: and behold at the door of the gate five and twenty men; among them Jaazaniah the son of Azur, and Pelatiahthe son of Benaiah, princes of the people.’

The spiritual world is treasure waiting to be discovered if you follow your heart rather than the noises of despair around you. My visit to this church was eventually published on the internet as I later discovered in this article. I owe the Lord many things, we all do.

Eli - Apex Reviews

As Cephas continues his trek to Saudi Arabia in pursuit of his inheritance, he soon discovers that discarding his past will be a much more difficult task than he anticipated. With his personal life steeped in confusion and uncertainty, not to mention his spirit nearly broken, Cephas is forced to rely on little more than his faith to survive in an increasingly challenging world. Little does he know, though, his current trials and tribulations – no matter how formidable – are just the beginning...

Thoughtful, moving, and deeply introspective, Eli is an immensely rewarding read. Skillfully crafted by author Leslie Musoko, this second installment of a compelling new trilogy takes the reader deep into the mind and heart of a devout Christian struggling to reconcile his faith with the often hostile reality that surrounds him. Not only that, he must also contend with the internal forces threatening to cloud his judgment and distract him from the all-important spiritual quest for which he’s been pre-anointed. As deep as it all may sound, Musoko does a commendable job of framing Cephas’ physical and metaphorical journey in clear, accessible terms, fostering a profound empathy within the reader – regardless of your specific personal faith. In so doing, Eli serves as an invaluable guide for anyone who finds themselves similarly conflicted in the spirit; by following Cephas’ brave example, we will find it much easier to handle the emergent spiritual tests that unexpectedly befall our everyday paths.

Equally riveting and profound, Eli is an instant storytelling classic. Be on the lookout for more compelling works from this promising new literary talent on the rise.

Moses wrote of me

When you have come to your knees as many times as I have you begin to wonder whether anywhere else is safer than what you have found. It is hard to differentiate between standing or sitting, walking or running, shouting or just plain talking because the extremes between each of these actions become merged, as you realize that neither makes a difference since what matters most is that which you hold dear and precious to your soul. It embodies your being and it is the focal point of your every thought and deed. It is beyond a cosmic force as you know that nothing in our universe or otherwise could reduce your admiration, fear, and love for this thing. The pearl of our lives is God for once we have found him there is no where else beyond. Things come and go in our lives but he is never far from our thoughts as his divine power surpasses anything in the world. We may lie and cheat, we may steal and commit sin after sin, yet in the end we all end up asking ourselves who we answer to. There is always one power above man and that is God. Even the thief of the night says his prayers before going into action as he also hopes that he would be successful by the grace of God. One of the things puzzling most of us when we first seek God is the question of when we shall see him. These is depicted in our actions our thoughts and most of man’s life. We all use the bible to argue our case, justify our actions and make many of our decisions with the hope that a miracle would be shown to us by God to verify that our actions were righteous. We are a generation that needs to be encouraged and so we seek evidence from all sources possible that what we have done in our lives can be justified in one way or the other. It is no doubt that there is no one better than our heavenly father to show us a sign, a miracle and a gesture to make us worthy of our course. In this way we seek a vision of God hoping that this would encourage us along our spiritual path yet after many endless hours our patience never seems to be rewarded.
As our Lord has said God is a spirit and those who seek him must expect to see him spiritually. Man cannot discern a being so powerful in the primitive form that he is. We are not ready to see our God with the thoughts we possess as man, the lusts and desires that drive us day by day and with the intention that craves our minds for why we need to seek him. That is why this decision is not ours to make. It is only our heavenly father that can decide when we are ready to see him. However it is not all bad news for us because he has left us with his word and has given us the wisdom of our Lord to teach us how to see him in our primitive form, and the physical way we are used to. The bible teaches us that God is light and there is no darkness in him. In which sense all good is discernable from him, therefore he that is carrying out this action with believe in the spirit is in the image of God at the moment. He can come to us at anytime and on any occasion it simply depends on whether or not we are looking for him. He is present in nature when we admire its beauty. Even the heavy rain droplets that wash our earth away can possess the spirit of God if we look at the coolness that follows in its wake. When the earth is cooled after a rain storm it is for the reason that God wishes this to be so. When the sun rises in the morning it is his wish and we can wake up and admire this cosmic entity understanding that only one being is powerful enough to make this possible. When our dogs back excitedly to receive us at home after a tiring day at work it is because God has given them the senses and awareness to know us. This is divine and cannot be explained by man. His spirit is in every living thing and so we can see him in the physical sense when we look for the good in those things.
The proof of the spiritual world is in faith and not in physical conviction based on man’s theories. We either accept it or do not.
Today I remember a time in the past when I turned up uninvited at a friend’s house. It was a house call that had not been planned as I had been out already doing something and decided on impulse that I would make this diversion. I was lucky, he was home with his family and they were glad to see me. As usual the children were ready to entertain, always keen when a visitor turned up. I chatted with my friend for an hour and then as I decided that it was time for me to leave, his wife proposed that I stayed longer for dinner. I accepted the invitation and as we all gathered around the dining table his four year old son was told to lead us in prayer. It was one of the most amazing things I have witnessed in my life. There was nothing spectacular about a child praying or the words he said, what caught my attention was the wisdom that was depicted in a child praying. Even though he was only four he was convinced that he was praying to his heavenly father and that what he prayed for would be answered. The sincerity in his voice and the innocence in his demands was something that I knew I struggled as an adult to deliver when I said my own prayers. As far as this child was concerned he was talking to God and that was it. He talked as if he was talking to someone before him, praying earnestly for his wishes. It occurred to me that if I was in God’s position I would answer his prayers.
I listened to him finish and end his prayer humbled by what I had learned. In this child our heavenly father had revealed his strength and with all my years traveling the world seeing and experiencing so much, I never thought that I could learn something so special from a child. This child was teaching me that we are all children before God. We may be lawyers, kings, queens, presidents, business men, directors or doctors but when we went on our knees to God we had to remember that we were all just children and ask with hope that our heavenly father would answer our prayers. In the bible it is said that we should not worry about the words we say in prayer because our spirits intercede for us. This was what I was seeing first hand with this child. His words did not matter because if the sincerity in his voice was so complete then his spirit was doing all the talking. If a mortal like me could witness this then what more of a power so supreme.
I left my friend’s house that evening content. It was not the food that I received or the conversation with my friend that had made my day it was the prayer his son had made that had told me I had just witnessed a miracle of God. In the bible our Lord has said: “Watch.” This word is spoken in the context of us watching for his return and the day of our salvation. To be prepared for this day I believe we must be able to see the spiritual unfold as I did in the simplest of things.

I'm hungry, feed me: Reverence

I heard the clatter of letters through the post box as I walked out of the bathroom after a long weary bath. It was almost midday on a wet day in late February 1993, and there was very little for me to cheer about. I ignored the letters and walked into the bedroom. It was pointless rushing for the post, there was no reason why anything should have changed today, for that matter. I had graduated the summer before and still walked around town like a vagrant without work. I had sent out over two hundred applications and still hadn’t received anything positive. I was running out of time, patience and money. I was behind with my rent for over two months and the landlord was crowding me. I had negotiated my position having mentioned to the estate agents who ran the property that with my university qualifications sooner or later I would be employed and would be in a position to pay my bills. That had been over two months ago and I was now nearly into the third month and still had very little confidence in my position.
My bedroom was empty, except for a bed and old television. My clothes where laid out in a large open suit case that took up a good section of the room and I wondered each day if my situation would ever change. I chose simple clothes for the day, in fact there was hardly anything else to choose from as I couldn’t buy any new clothes since I hadn’t earned for a long time. I slid into old jeans trousers that I had worn in college and a worn out looking tee-shirt. I threw on an old denim jacket and then proceeded to seek my driver’s license. It was pay day in my unemployed career and this meant collecting an unemployment benefit’s cheque this time of the month. At a ration of eighty pounds a month I could barely survive. However it was something to look forward to and I wasn’t knocking it as it came in handy for food. After putting on an old pair of trainers I left my apartment without pausing for a glance at my mail. This was my routine this time of the month and I was sticking to it. There was no point in breaking it by checking the post as what lay there were only the dreaded bills. It looked as though no matter how hard I tried there was always one thing each week to sink my demeanor.
I walked unsighted down Clarendon Street where I lived on to Seven Sisters Road and headed for the tube station. I passed people and felt their presence but refrained from making any eye contact. I was in my own world and wanted to stay there. The understatement of the month would have been I was depressed because I knew that I was beyond this. I believe that depression comes when one first hits rock bottom, I think I had hit rock bottom and gone further underground. Now I did not know what I felt. I told friends that maybe it was amnesia as I could never remember anything or it just might have been a world of illusion as I placed my mind miles away in the future where things were better for me. I had graduated from college eight months earlier and still did not know my results, my fees had not been paid and having been escorted from class more than once I had managed to negotiate with the university a practical compromise. I pleaded my case to sit the final exams even though I could not attend most of the classes and offered to pay my tuition as soon as I got a job. The university had agreed to my terms, although now that I had graduated I was wondering how it would be possible to get a job when I had no proof of my certification. Having spent four years in higher education putting in every ounce of my being in passing my exams I was feeling suffocated from my chances in life. It felt like an uphill struggle all the way. I had watched my friends graduate from college while I stood outdoors like a spectator as having not paid my fees it was unfair that I should stand amongst those who had. Now I felt as tough as nails believing that if the past hadn’t crippled me then why should the present. I told myself that whatever the outcome I would not cave in to depression.
The events of the day happened as they normally did with nothing to brag about! Eventually I returned home to confront myself. My helplessness sunk in like a rash and I walked through the one bedroom apartment like a caged animal. I was frustrated with my life and my existence. I needed something fast and I needed it to be really good to help me through life. Having resided into this frame of mind I then began to seek a way out. I brooded over things past and present seeking reassurance and inner strength to raise my moral.
‘I had missed out something,’ I told myself, for today was unusually harder than other days. I decided to check my mail believing that maybe the Lord would send me something positive to release the distress I felt. I ploughed through the junk mail for a while and then came upon a letter from one of the companies I had applied to. I had gone a step further with this application and attended an interview and now awaited the results. I put all my mind and spirit into it, believing that this was it. I believed that this was the one thing that would save me from my situation. I prayed that it should be before I opened the letter and read its contents.

“Dear Sir,
Thank you very much for coming up to our offices. We have received many applications and wish to tell you that unfortunately on this occasion you have not been selected.
We wish you all the best in your future career.
Yours sincerely,”

‘Why me?’ I exploded in disgust! After everything I had been through even this letter had failed me. I was saddened by it all. It looked as though the Lord had abandoned me, he had forgotten about me and my wishes. He had betrayed me and left me to rot in life. My pacing continued as the adrenaline built up in me. I was really having one of those days where I needed something to happen for me. I needed something to go right. I turned on the old television to liven up my surroundings while I paced as the silence was so deafening that my heartbeat and the insults I was shouting could be heard for miles.
As I went through the motions of my sufferings my door bell rang and I rushed to it believing that my calling had finally come. I heard the doorbell ring and I told myself that the Lord had answered my prayers. I opened the door and standing out in the darkness was a man who declared himself as a representative from the television licensor. He wished to see my television license and asked if I had a television. With the background noise glaring away I couldn’t disguise my position so I declared the truth and told him I had not yet purchased a license. He offered to see my television and I invited him into my apartment. The state of the television was enough for the man to give up on me. The picture was blurred and the antennae turned out to be an old coat hanger I had found in the house. The licensor said it wasn’t worth charging me and left. In that instant I realized the gravity of my situation and my spirit sunk to its lowest.
I lowered the volume of the television and sat down, broken to the knees at how isolated my life had become. This was truly happening and I had finally reached rock bottom with no help being granted to me from the Lord. I felt the pain sear through my veins and into my heart and I broke down and wept painfully. I cried for a while and then drifted into sleep. I must have slept for almost two hours for when I woke up I felt different. Something in me had gone. I had lost a part of me, as if it had died in an accident. My situation hadn’t changed but I felt better because life was no more what it seemed to be. My life was no more about getting the things that I thought I was meant to have. For some reason or the other I understood that my life was meant for me to look beyond things, beyond man and beyond what man believed needed to be right for one to be happy. I accepted my life for what it was because there was no other way out for me. In the day I had made the best of what I had and the night had come without any changes. All the time I had tried to seek for answers, relief from my pain and depression I had sunk deeper into the well of agony. Finally I had been trapped, idolizing what man believed was the only way to survive and then it had finally broken me.
In the spiritual world to build a foundation of our existence we must all ask ourselves this question: “What is our first love?” The answer to this question determines our survival and the patience we have in enduring the longsuffering that exist on this mysterious journey.

Reverie: The Day I met Thursday and Friday

The club was steamy as smoke rose from the cigarettes of the many sailors and the hostesses that entertained them. It was a sixties environment and for the life of me I could not understand what I was doing there. I listened to the sound of old songs bellow from the gramophone and knew I had landed myself into an old war movie. I sat in the corner observing the scenery in wonder and then I saw them approach me. They looked like brothers only one was much taller than the other. They sat down without asking for an invitation and began talking to me as though we had known each other for many years. The shorter of the two did all the talking making claims of his escapades and boasting about his charm. His claims were backed up by the way the girls immediately swamped around our table and gave him all their attention. I saw him rise up with one of them almost lifting her off her feet as he guided her to the crowded dance floor. His taller companion remained seated and quiet watching his friend dance with the lady eventually he too was approached by another girl who appeared to be shy and they joined the others on the dance floor. I watched in fascination as the two couples in very different styles let themselves unwind to the music. How I had come to be in this place was a mystery but what was obvious was that I was there for a purpose.

    They eventually returned to the table and continued talking in the same way as before. I couldn’t hear the words clearly but from what I could see the short one was assertive of his position and gave the impression that he was in charge of all around him while the tall one was quiet with a resolute determination only depicted by his silence and the peculiar look in his eyes. I sat there mystified believing that anytime soon some one somewhere would eventually interrupt my dream and shake me back into reality.

    As time would have it I was roused up from sleep as the morning noise filtered through my windows and realized that I had been fully engrossed in a dream world that had sent me back in time to the sixties. The interesting thing about this dream was that it was vivid and I felt that it had a message from the Lord hidden beneath the surface. My first thought was to remember what I had asked of the Lord. Yes!  I remembered my prayer had been for him to shed light on the direction of my life. I had wished for a sign, anything to give me hope that the path I was dreading wasn’t covered in doubt and fear. I was afraid that my decisions in life had been plagued by guilt and the sole purpose of building prosperity. For the first time in a long while I was taking a step back and denying myself my ambitions holding firm to the virtues of faith and relying on the Lord to carry me to my destination. I had isolated myself from everything and everyone feeding solely on revelations in my life yet weakness had crept in and again I delved in self pity hoping after time that the Lord would show me a sign that I was on the right track. I couldn’t remember when I had last had a revelation and hoped for one with every ounce of my being. It looked as though in response to my prayer this was what I had to go by. This dream was all I had and it was up to me to figure out what it meant.

      I prayed to the Lord to shed light on this dream as I knew it was a gift from him in response to my wishes. It was Wednesday and the week was still young yet with my state of mind I wondered with apprehension if I would make it to the end of the week without loosing my mind. I knew Saturday would be okay and I felt this because the weekend had a way of taking care of itself, but who could tell about Thursday and Friday? I was only in Wednesday and there were two more days to get through before the weekend. It looked as though in my ply to avoid incessant badgering for success I was now sinking into a state of desolation. I needed a way out of this maze and I hoped that the Lord would guide me through it.

       I lay in bed wondering how these two sailors could be of any importance in my life.  Eventually it dawned on me that the sailors where two days of my life. The short sailor was Thursday for I expected to be rash, assertive and abrupt in all my decisions on that day because that is what the dream had foretold. However Friday would be a long day and the night would seem very far off. It would be harder and colder in its approach but in the end I would find it to be the better of both days.

      It is hard for me to tell you that these is how these days turned out to be not by my own doing but by the grace of the Lord. The spiritual world is so mysterious that its mysteries can only be lived to be seen. I write with the hope that through my words when you make your own discoveries in the spiritual world and jubilate at your experience it can bring back memories from my story that would make you believe and strengthen your faith in the Lord. On this occasion I told my mum about what I had dreamt and my interpretation of the dream as I knew she understood the spiritual world and knew I was level headed enough not to let my imagination get the better of me. Things turned out as I had dreamt for on Thursday I found that not to my doing my friends called me. Friends I hadn’t heard from in weeks called seeking my advice. Time flew by as we talked about times past and before I knew it I was having dinner and on my way to bed. In a way I lived through Thursday without knowing what had happened. It had been short, abrupt and I had been assertive and boastful in a way as I talked to friends about my own experiences in life. When Friday came I was in recovery mode from a hectic Thursday and found it slow and cold to start with. The day was long and I wondered with hope what the night would bring. However it ended with me going out to the pictures and this is how I managed to survive through to the weekend.

Eli - Pacific Book Review

Beautifully written in a first person format, Leslie Musoko brought me into the mind and thoughts of characters of immense spirituality seeking their destiny, in a masterpiece composition, ELI. Revelations between reality and the spirit world conflict within their minds, as his novel brought me into the depths of human awareness. Skillfully written using multiple dimensions of thoughts, feelings and actions of his protagonist, combined with the minutia of detail Leslie Musoko amassed from his life experiences and research, he constructs a philosophical pulpit. I felt transported into the mind of his character Cephas; seeing through his eyes, feeling through his touch, sensing all around him whilst listening to his thoughts, understanding his faith and witnessing first-hand his cognitive awareness. Kudos to Mr. Musoko for achieving such an artful literary feat.

I knew I was in for a treat from the very first page, during the Prelude, he writes, “Cry I say, cry I wish, yet there are no tears from me. I am all cried out, all dried up.” For those words written told me volumes about Leslie Musoko’s sensitivity and literary skills. His pen scribes an acme of articulation, reminiscent of eternal quotes and commensurate as a Shakespearian coinage. The introspective contemplative lamellate of his characters’ personality, juxtaposed against their logical layer, or public façade layer, divulges the depth of Musokos’ erudition of character development. The quest to find his character’s sanctuary in faith brings us all closer to our own. “Eli” translated meaning “My God” was exclaimed by Jesus Christ on the cross. “Eli, Eli lama sabathani,” said Jesus. “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”

Eli is the second of a trilogy series of writing about Cephas, a Christian put to tests of his faith through a series of challenging circumstances. Achieving an advanced caliper of literary percipience, Leslie Musoko’s Eli is recommended to all readers with a cultivated appreciation of character development, epic storytelling, and faith based philosophy. I found it to be challenging and stimulating. One thought, written somewhere in the storyline, Musoko stated how odd it is for humans to have evolved to a point in their use of language where at times it is used to mislead or mask one’s innermost feelings. How absurd a culture would embrace such deceptive tactics, he pontificated. Mr. Musoko leads no reader down a path of deception, nor does he fraudulently portray his thoughts. Eli is communication at its highest level of veracity.

Making your dream reality

believing in a dream

Believing that we are all called upon this earth to do something is one thing, however putting it into practice requires a level of commitment that very few of us are willing to put in.

As a child I read all the books I could get my hands on. I did not care about the subject or what it was about I just read. Mine was a hunger that needed to be fed and escape from my environment into another, time and again was much needed respite. Soon I was contemplating my dream. ‘If only’, was always a good place to start. I identified my weakness. I needed experience, I needed to understand the world I lived in. If only I could travel, if only I had been to the places I wished to write about, if only I had time to dedicate to my dream then nothing would stop me. I traveled, I gained experience, I learned a thing or two about the world, time was afforded me, I decided to write.

great expectations

Finding the story had never been the hard part for me as an author. It was always the fear of not succeeding in anything I endeavored to do. I demanded the best of myself whether it was in engineering, sales or management. Naturally it made sense that the fear of not succeeding as an author would spur me on. I expected and demanded more of myself. I had been to places, I had read numerous books. I took pride in my imagination and my gift of creativity as it had shone through my telecoms career. This meant writing about what I knew, what was at the core of my existence and what had carried me through all those years of traveling in my life. I turned to my faith. However faith is not about just what you know or your experience or where you’ve been. Primarily faith is about God and where you are going to end up! Perhaps we all think that we all have a small say in this. Do further research you’ll find that you agree with me!

qualifying expectations

By reading many books of different genre I had discovered that each author had their own identities. Some books were stronger in society than others for their time, their environment and the purpose they served. It wasn’t enough that I was creative and had a story to tell. I had to contemplate the time and the message I wished to get across to my readers. I had to qualify my dream if I wanted it to be a success! Talent or a gift does not serve the purpose it’s for on its own. It has to be channeled and directed to fulfill its existence. I was lucky here! God came through for me as he had done in the past. Qualifying my dream is in the response of the readers of my books. I have received handshakes, told by others that my book changed their lives. There has been some negative criticism but if looked into thoroughly, I expected it to come from those sources from the moment I typed the first words.