You could believe that the worse thing you could do is listen to the word of someone else, a stranger for that matter. They are not clairvoyant I hear you say. You could also believe that the worse thing you could do was take it for granted that you are not yet beyond your sell buy date, that your time hasn’t passed. I know where you are going with this, I hear you say, but I’m not convinced. Sorry, I’ve been there and done that.
Humor me this one time. Say you listen to this stranger and it works out as he says, I’m not saying it will but just say it does. You would be one step richer, one step closer to fulfilling your happiness. Or say you change your mind and accept that you may not have seen it all. That the trials, tribulations and the heartache are still just worthwhile for one more time to see things to the end. You just never know it may be your time, your place and your day.
There I say though, be wise but not in your conceit for that which has been is now and that which is yet to come has already been. If there is vanity in everything that we do then you just never know…
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
Saturday, 4 June 2011
Get in line sinner I was here first!
He took the dictionary and smashed it hard on the table shattering the glass beneath and scattering the beads that lay in the saucepan. He turned, reaching and then looking for it. He was moving, snatching the phone and throwing it violently against the wall listening to the sound of breaking metal as the fury burned within his soul.
‘I am flawed,’ he whimpered, breathlessly. ‘I am indeed truly flawed.’
And then he was on the ground grabbing his head in his hands and locking himself away from life as he had come to know it. The bars in his despair where closer than he could have ever imagined. The nights were longer, the waiting nauseating.
‘I can do this I know I can. Yet I fail to see the purpose as I am already there. This voice makes no sense, it comes with a penance that leaves me distraught. How do I do it, where do I start?’
Endless questions, time afforded, reasons. Yes! Reasons! They where there when one needed them but still they were difficult to accept. A man can do good when it serves its purpose. A man would sacrifice when he sees the benefit of it. Still what lies in a man’s heart is what he will do when he faces the truth. This is the tell of his darkest hour. On this day he will make a prayer. It can go many ways but here is one way.
‘Dear Father, what does this sinner tell thee that you do not already know. I have failed to comprehend the wisdom that you have shown me through the years. I have failed to hear thy voice when confronted with the truth. I am my penance when my lust overcomes me. I fear my wrath because it controls me. I fear my folly because it is my disguise. Guide this servant to hope and thy faith. Guide this servant to the riches of thy bosom. When a man faces the storm he should be able to cry out. Call to his maker and father and say forsake me not for my burden overwhelms me. I am thy son and need this break father. Grant me this wish and make my joy holy. I cannot tell what lies in my heart because this sin that I commit is new to me too. One thing I can promise is to uphold my end as your grace desires. I am the fool with needless words in this prayer. I am the beggar that steals from your table. I am shameless in my search for victory. I wish for those things that I know only you can provide. I am lost father and seek you more than ever. I am lost father as I seek a path of escape. Make my burden lighter and remove sin from my shores. Make my burden lighter and take away resentment from my bones. I need your help father and your aid in my plans. I am dead to this world and hopeless in promises. I lie, cheat and steal with false promises. Help me dear God for I have fallen from thy grace. This is the prayer of the fool that kneels before thee. Help this great sinner to find peace and good shelter. I ask this through your son our Lord and savior. I beg this through our lord Jesus Christ, Amen.’
‘I am flawed,’ he whimpered, breathlessly. ‘I am indeed truly flawed.’
And then he was on the ground grabbing his head in his hands and locking himself away from life as he had come to know it. The bars in his despair where closer than he could have ever imagined. The nights were longer, the waiting nauseating.
‘I can do this I know I can. Yet I fail to see the purpose as I am already there. This voice makes no sense, it comes with a penance that leaves me distraught. How do I do it, where do I start?’
Endless questions, time afforded, reasons. Yes! Reasons! They where there when one needed them but still they were difficult to accept. A man can do good when it serves its purpose. A man would sacrifice when he sees the benefit of it. Still what lies in a man’s heart is what he will do when he faces the truth. This is the tell of his darkest hour. On this day he will make a prayer. It can go many ways but here is one way.
‘Dear Father, what does this sinner tell thee that you do not already know. I have failed to comprehend the wisdom that you have shown me through the years. I have failed to hear thy voice when confronted with the truth. I am my penance when my lust overcomes me. I fear my wrath because it controls me. I fear my folly because it is my disguise. Guide this servant to hope and thy faith. Guide this servant to the riches of thy bosom. When a man faces the storm he should be able to cry out. Call to his maker and father and say forsake me not for my burden overwhelms me. I am thy son and need this break father. Grant me this wish and make my joy holy. I cannot tell what lies in my heart because this sin that I commit is new to me too. One thing I can promise is to uphold my end as your grace desires. I am the fool with needless words in this prayer. I am the beggar that steals from your table. I am shameless in my search for victory. I wish for those things that I know only you can provide. I am lost father and seek you more than ever. I am lost father as I seek a path of escape. Make my burden lighter and remove sin from my shores. Make my burden lighter and take away resentment from my bones. I need your help father and your aid in my plans. I am dead to this world and hopeless in promises. I lie, cheat and steal with false promises. Help me dear God for I have fallen from thy grace. This is the prayer of the fool that kneels before thee. Help this great sinner to find peace and good shelter. I ask this through your son our Lord and savior. I beg this through our lord Jesus Christ, Amen.’
Monday, 16 May 2011
Friend or Foe..
I will make you a better writer the Lord said to me. First I would take everything that matters away from you. This is not a test although it would seem like one. This would feed you emotion and compassion in your words and thoughts. When you feel helpless you will need love and kindness from others. When this passes your words would ring beauty and there would be peace.
Next I would take away the good health you so closely standby. This you relied upon, to do those things that come naturally. You will walk miles and feel like you are crawling. You will run lengths and feel like you’re drowning. As the weight of this shadow crosses thy path you will feel wisdom and add this to your words. Without this wisdom you cannot return to what you have written. You cannot read without feeling a sense of elation. This is my second treat to bring you to life. You have been punctured yet stand to be counted.
Now I would take something else that matters to you. This is the curse and disease you live by. I would take victory, your words and your vision. This will be your blindness and cross to bear. It is a crown of thorns that separates you from the others. It is at this point that you will turn to me and cry:
‘Father I hate my life and this wretched feeling. My ores are wrecked in this boat of despair. Give me a break and don’t make me forsake you. I am but human and need spirit to live.’
You will think you are at the end when these words escape you. Then I would answer your prayer as I always do:
‘Fear not my child I have reserved something for you. Your term is completed sooner than you think. I am not the enemy but a friend indeed.’
Next I would take away the good health you so closely standby. This you relied upon, to do those things that come naturally. You will walk miles and feel like you are crawling. You will run lengths and feel like you’re drowning. As the weight of this shadow crosses thy path you will feel wisdom and add this to your words. Without this wisdom you cannot return to what you have written. You cannot read without feeling a sense of elation. This is my second treat to bring you to life. You have been punctured yet stand to be counted.
Now I would take something else that matters to you. This is the curse and disease you live by. I would take victory, your words and your vision. This will be your blindness and cross to bear. It is a crown of thorns that separates you from the others. It is at this point that you will turn to me and cry:
‘Father I hate my life and this wretched feeling. My ores are wrecked in this boat of despair. Give me a break and don’t make me forsake you. I am but human and need spirit to live.’
You will think you are at the end when these words escape you. Then I would answer your prayer as I always do:
‘Fear not my child I have reserved something for you. Your term is completed sooner than you think. I am not the enemy but a friend indeed.’
Saturday, 19 February 2011
God's time is the best...
Finally on its way, laden with all the necessities to carry me forth. I have waited for this moment for many days. It has been a countdown for years. I’d turn up at the docks and be told there is nothing for you. It’s not time yet. I return home disheartened but my spirits again replenished as I realize I haven’t completed my work. There would be always something that I had failed to do or see. So I would work at this until it was completed and again return to the docks with searching eyes. The answer would be the same,
‘Go home it isn’t yet time.’
Today was different because the answer was different. The message was, it has just left the docks and it’s on its way so be prepared, it is now your time. In one way I am ecstatic because I have been waiting for this moment like forever. In another way I am in wonder whether it is my imagination playing tricks on me. Still I cannot be in doubt because I have been here many times before, when this happens. I can’t hide behind words nor is it about the evidence before me. I can hear the voices around me, I hear the sounds, walk the streets day and night still this calling is deafening, resonating from afar. This time the answer I get back is,
‘It is on its way, be prepared.’
I am not hungry nor do I thirst. I am just thoughtful staring into yonder. I shall jubilate in this moment and be grateful that I have waited this long, for safe passage to the haven I seek. I thank God for this comfort and for revealing his secrets to me.
‘Go home it isn’t yet time.’
Today was different because the answer was different. The message was, it has just left the docks and it’s on its way so be prepared, it is now your time. In one way I am ecstatic because I have been waiting for this moment like forever. In another way I am in wonder whether it is my imagination playing tricks on me. Still I cannot be in doubt because I have been here many times before, when this happens. I can’t hide behind words nor is it about the evidence before me. I can hear the voices around me, I hear the sounds, walk the streets day and night still this calling is deafening, resonating from afar. This time the answer I get back is,
‘It is on its way, be prepared.’
I am not hungry nor do I thirst. I am just thoughtful staring into yonder. I shall jubilate in this moment and be grateful that I have waited this long, for safe passage to the haven I seek. I thank God for this comfort and for revealing his secrets to me.
Monday, 20 September 2010
Law and behold...
I never think that I have it all figured out, that I know what I am going to do in any circumstance. I live in the fear of God not because of the rules he has asked me to live by, not because the sky could suddenly open and a giant object strikes me down. I live in the fear of God because he is a trusted friend and a wise father that we all need.
Two days ago I changed my boarding pass to take an aisle seat allowing me the freedom of movement when I boarded a flight to DC. It just so happened that it was pretty cold due to the air condition system in the plane and naturally from the altitude. As we soared through the blue skies and I searched endlessly for any new films on the movie channels I noticed the little girl that sat quietly beside me. She was traveling like many other school kids on this international flight and stared innocently across me to see through the window. Her guardian sat at the other side of her filling out landing cards for all the kids and teachers on the trip. I was in awe of them. They had come on board in London where I boarded but I noticed that their journey had originated in Uganda. I could just imagine the excitement of traveling that distance when one was so young and the kind of stories she’d tell back home on her return.
Time flew as I eventually got engrossed in the movie and the child fell asleep, as did most people on the flight. I happened to glance in her direction and noticed that she was shaking feverishly. I looked towards her teacher at the far end to bring his attention to this and realized that he was invisible under the blanket that covered him from head to toe. I watched this little girl for a while and wondered what I should do. It occurred to me that the rules of our world stipulated that we shouldn’t talk to strangers. The rules of our world stipulated that kids more than any one else needed to be protected. Here I was sitting comfortably under my blanket watching a movie while this child was freezing in her sleep and the thing I was worried about was what would the world do to me if I lifted a finger to help. If I answered to man I would look for a flight attendant to assist the child. If I answered to man I would let this child freeze to keep myself away from being branded as something else. Perhaps in my last days when I turned up before the Lord I would be justified for doing nothing because I had obeyed the laws that suited the rules of engagement in our society. The fact remained that those laws where now preventing me from helping a fellow human being in need.
I thought about this for a while and after finding it utterly ridiculous I looked for a blanket for her. Without finding any I gave her mine. Ten minutes later as these things go and the way children sleep she threw off the blanket and I had to reach again for it to cover her. Eventually the cabin lights went on as we entered the last hour to our destination and her guardian woke up and so did the child. I watched them quietly smiling in my heart. It dawned on me that the laws of God although appearing to be difficult for us to follow were much easier than those of men. Looking into my heart my God knew I had done what I did to help someone else. Looking at it from man’s perspective I could have done what I did for all sorts of motives. I believe my experience is not far from the many we have each day in our different lives. It is a good omen that we have laws that maintain order in our society. However it is an even better omen when we realize that these laws are for guidance and not to judge our hearts and souls…
Two days ago I changed my boarding pass to take an aisle seat allowing me the freedom of movement when I boarded a flight to DC. It just so happened that it was pretty cold due to the air condition system in the plane and naturally from the altitude. As we soared through the blue skies and I searched endlessly for any new films on the movie channels I noticed the little girl that sat quietly beside me. She was traveling like many other school kids on this international flight and stared innocently across me to see through the window. Her guardian sat at the other side of her filling out landing cards for all the kids and teachers on the trip. I was in awe of them. They had come on board in London where I boarded but I noticed that their journey had originated in Uganda. I could just imagine the excitement of traveling that distance when one was so young and the kind of stories she’d tell back home on her return.
Time flew as I eventually got engrossed in the movie and the child fell asleep, as did most people on the flight. I happened to glance in her direction and noticed that she was shaking feverishly. I looked towards her teacher at the far end to bring his attention to this and realized that he was invisible under the blanket that covered him from head to toe. I watched this little girl for a while and wondered what I should do. It occurred to me that the rules of our world stipulated that we shouldn’t talk to strangers. The rules of our world stipulated that kids more than any one else needed to be protected. Here I was sitting comfortably under my blanket watching a movie while this child was freezing in her sleep and the thing I was worried about was what would the world do to me if I lifted a finger to help. If I answered to man I would look for a flight attendant to assist the child. If I answered to man I would let this child freeze to keep myself away from being branded as something else. Perhaps in my last days when I turned up before the Lord I would be justified for doing nothing because I had obeyed the laws that suited the rules of engagement in our society. The fact remained that those laws where now preventing me from helping a fellow human being in need.
I thought about this for a while and after finding it utterly ridiculous I looked for a blanket for her. Without finding any I gave her mine. Ten minutes later as these things go and the way children sleep she threw off the blanket and I had to reach again for it to cover her. Eventually the cabin lights went on as we entered the last hour to our destination and her guardian woke up and so did the child. I watched them quietly smiling in my heart. It dawned on me that the laws of God although appearing to be difficult for us to follow were much easier than those of men. Looking into my heart my God knew I had done what I did to help someone else. Looking at it from man’s perspective I could have done what I did for all sorts of motives. I believe my experience is not far from the many we have each day in our different lives. It is a good omen that we have laws that maintain order in our society. However it is an even better omen when we realize that these laws are for guidance and not to judge our hearts and souls…
Tuesday, 24 August 2010
Road Trip...
I sat in the car waiting. Every so often I would hear the sound of a distant vehicle approaching and then soon see its headlights come flashing past me. Before long it would be gone into the distance. Still I waited it was too soon to try.
‘Not yet, not now,’ I whispered quietly beneath my breath.
The desert was as silent as a graveyard. Nothing could be seen or heard for miles. I had crossed the border an hour earlier and still had another three to go before hopefully I would be home safe and sound. Before then I would have to face the test of time. I would have to learn what life had in store for me.
Perhaps it was my fault that it had turned out this way. My enthusiasm may have gotten the better of me. I had driven like a lunatic, breaking speed limits that did not exist. This was not the kind of trip one did alone but I had done it. I had driven into the sandstorm losing sight of any of the cars in front of me and cruised safely to the border after four hours. After wrestling with border control I was in Bahrain and walking through the mall searching for the movie theater. I emerged two hours later to see that darkness had descended in this part of the world and I began planning my long trip back home. Riyadh had no form of escape in terms of cinema so the best one could do was cross the Saudi border into neighboring countries to catch up with life.
I got into the car and before long I was again across the causeway and heading into the darkness of the desert. After driving for an hour I was just beginning to think I would make it into Riyadh in good time when I heard the engine cough, stutter and then die completely. Soon I was pulling over into the sands knowing that my fate had been written.
I sat in the darkness waiting quietly. What were my options? There was no form of road assistance in these parts, no high way phones for emergency services and the nearest help was at least three hours away and that would be calling my friends with the hope that they were in. What were my options? I could stop one of the cars because at the speeds at which they were going past me, there was no doubt in my mind that I’d be picking up pieces of my self in the desert before I was able to ask for help. I was getting pretty thin on options. One thing was for certain I had to stay in the car as walking would certainly be the end of my life in the heat.
As I sat in the car, I told myself to wait and allow for time. All the gages had indicated that all was okay and so it was hard to tell why the car had broken down. I tried to visualize them again through my mind as I had done just before the engine had cutoff, oil normal, petrol tank full, engine cool, yet no life in it? I had been driving the rental for over two weeks without any problems yet it had chosen this place of all places to break down on me. I told myself I had to be patient. It may be dead at the moment but who could tell what would happen later. I would give it half an hour and then try again. ‘It was bound to work, it had to, Father you cannot abandon me like this,’ were the quiet words from my lips.
Half an hour later, I closed my eyes and prayed. Then my hand went again to the key in the ignition and I held my breath. Soon I heard the engine roar to life and I smiled in the darkness. I slowly pulled out of the sand unto the road and began cruising at a slow speed. I knew there was fuel in the car and now I just hoped it would stay alive long enough to get me home. Before long I had picked up the pace and then I realized I was passing slower cars and making good time. I entered Riyadh four hours later feeling like a man who had conquered the world. I was sure that the engine had been dead for no apparent reason and with no help forth coming for miles I knew my fate was sown with whatever faith I could muster. As I walked into my apartment and poured myself a glass of water I knew if given the chance I would change nothing of what had taken place. Perhaps the event had been a challenge and there was more than a credible reason for the car breaking down as it did. However to me what mattered more than anything was how my faith had pulled me through despite the odds.
‘Not yet, not now,’ I whispered quietly beneath my breath.
The desert was as silent as a graveyard. Nothing could be seen or heard for miles. I had crossed the border an hour earlier and still had another three to go before hopefully I would be home safe and sound. Before then I would have to face the test of time. I would have to learn what life had in store for me.
Perhaps it was my fault that it had turned out this way. My enthusiasm may have gotten the better of me. I had driven like a lunatic, breaking speed limits that did not exist. This was not the kind of trip one did alone but I had done it. I had driven into the sandstorm losing sight of any of the cars in front of me and cruised safely to the border after four hours. After wrestling with border control I was in Bahrain and walking through the mall searching for the movie theater. I emerged two hours later to see that darkness had descended in this part of the world and I began planning my long trip back home. Riyadh had no form of escape in terms of cinema so the best one could do was cross the Saudi border into neighboring countries to catch up with life.
I got into the car and before long I was again across the causeway and heading into the darkness of the desert. After driving for an hour I was just beginning to think I would make it into Riyadh in good time when I heard the engine cough, stutter and then die completely. Soon I was pulling over into the sands knowing that my fate had been written.
I sat in the darkness waiting quietly. What were my options? There was no form of road assistance in these parts, no high way phones for emergency services and the nearest help was at least three hours away and that would be calling my friends with the hope that they were in. What were my options? I could stop one of the cars because at the speeds at which they were going past me, there was no doubt in my mind that I’d be picking up pieces of my self in the desert before I was able to ask for help. I was getting pretty thin on options. One thing was for certain I had to stay in the car as walking would certainly be the end of my life in the heat.
As I sat in the car, I told myself to wait and allow for time. All the gages had indicated that all was okay and so it was hard to tell why the car had broken down. I tried to visualize them again through my mind as I had done just before the engine had cutoff, oil normal, petrol tank full, engine cool, yet no life in it? I had been driving the rental for over two weeks without any problems yet it had chosen this place of all places to break down on me. I told myself I had to be patient. It may be dead at the moment but who could tell what would happen later. I would give it half an hour and then try again. ‘It was bound to work, it had to, Father you cannot abandon me like this,’ were the quiet words from my lips.
Half an hour later, I closed my eyes and prayed. Then my hand went again to the key in the ignition and I held my breath. Soon I heard the engine roar to life and I smiled in the darkness. I slowly pulled out of the sand unto the road and began cruising at a slow speed. I knew there was fuel in the car and now I just hoped it would stay alive long enough to get me home. Before long I had picked up the pace and then I realized I was passing slower cars and making good time. I entered Riyadh four hours later feeling like a man who had conquered the world. I was sure that the engine had been dead for no apparent reason and with no help forth coming for miles I knew my fate was sown with whatever faith I could muster. As I walked into my apartment and poured myself a glass of water I knew if given the chance I would change nothing of what had taken place. Perhaps the event had been a challenge and there was more than a credible reason for the car breaking down as it did. However to me what mattered more than anything was how my faith had pulled me through despite the odds.
Friday, 13 August 2010
Stalking Caesar...
It was a cloudy evening without a single star in sight. The rains hadn’t ceased until late afternoon but the clouds still lingered showing all the signs of more to come. Even the twitching red light that flickered from the distant airplane could barely be seen as it disappeared time and again in the gray night. It had cost him close to four hundred dollars and nothing on this earth was going to deter him from his plight.
His wet palms were soiled in anticipation. It had taken him about an hour to build. The tripod was the first to go in place, a screw here and there and then he was letting down its thin plastic legs. Soon it was in place. Next it was balancing the light metal scope. This took some degree of precision as he carefully adjusted the angles and tightened the balancing unit. Before long he was looking through the lens adjuster and when he could just about spot the street light ten meters away, he turned his attention towards the skies and begun looking for the stars. At first there was nothing but he wasn’t one to give up so easily. He hadn’t come this far for nothing. And then he spotted it. God had been kind to him there was one somewhere out there in the Stygian night. It was far enough but its brilliance could not be mistaken as the clouds cleared to let him have a glimpse.
He sighted the star with the lens adjuster and then withdrew the optical lens from its case. After plugging the 22mm in place he waited and then looked.
‘They said it would take time,’ he thought, ‘but how much experience does one need with this? I’m never going to see the heavens at this rate.’ he concluded.
The angel descended slowly to his side and placed his arm around the man’s broad shoulders, ‘He is in you my son, He is not in what you see out there, He is in you.’ He whispered euphoniously.
The man shivered in the dark night,
‘Utterly useless!’ he muttered to himself. ‘What a waste of time and money and still there is nothing to see! This is ridiculous!’
A very good friend of mine told me that a while back when he first became a Christian the first thing he did was rush out to the shops to buy a telescope. He said if he could look into the heavens then there was a chance that he would see past God’s creation and hopefully into his kingdom. A few days ago he told me about giving to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.
His wet palms were soiled in anticipation. It had taken him about an hour to build. The tripod was the first to go in place, a screw here and there and then he was letting down its thin plastic legs. Soon it was in place. Next it was balancing the light metal scope. This took some degree of precision as he carefully adjusted the angles and tightened the balancing unit. Before long he was looking through the lens adjuster and when he could just about spot the street light ten meters away, he turned his attention towards the skies and begun looking for the stars. At first there was nothing but he wasn’t one to give up so easily. He hadn’t come this far for nothing. And then he spotted it. God had been kind to him there was one somewhere out there in the Stygian night. It was far enough but its brilliance could not be mistaken as the clouds cleared to let him have a glimpse.
He sighted the star with the lens adjuster and then withdrew the optical lens from its case. After plugging the 22mm in place he waited and then looked.
‘They said it would take time,’ he thought, ‘but how much experience does one need with this? I’m never going to see the heavens at this rate.’ he concluded.
The angel descended slowly to his side and placed his arm around the man’s broad shoulders, ‘He is in you my son, He is not in what you see out there, He is in you.’ He whispered euphoniously.
The man shivered in the dark night,
‘Utterly useless!’ he muttered to himself. ‘What a waste of time and money and still there is nothing to see! This is ridiculous!’
A very good friend of mine told me that a while back when he first became a Christian the first thing he did was rush out to the shops to buy a telescope. He said if he could look into the heavens then there was a chance that he would see past God’s creation and hopefully into his kingdom. A few days ago he told me about giving to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.
Monday, 12 July 2010
Vain Oblations...
Gratitude is a sparkle, a tingling effect that has a blending of joy with tears. It is colorful through our veins as we shudder from sudden reactions to an internal glow of warmth and cold simultaneously. For me in the spiritual sense the only time that this is possible in our atmosphere and obvious to man is in the rainbow. Causing this sensation for others to feed upon is something we all should thrive for. Several years today I joined a firm where the challenges were pretty arduous with barely a moment for respite. Autonomy and self efficiency were hardly facets that one could herald in public. Nothing was at the tip of one’s finger tips and I sought assistance to complete my tasks from the more experienced employees. They were forth coming with ideas and past accomplishments that gave me the credence to do my job adequately. As I grew in experience, I realized that this help had been voluntary and it dawned on me that I had to find a means of returning the favor to my rescuers. I had received from people who were encouraged by my own career progression without the need for any personal indulgence. It was only credible to return this kindness in a similar fashion and so I waited patiently for my moment to come.
Time evaded us as it usually does and as I grew in experience with the job so did my colleagues. I found myself chasing a moving train. I was never able to keep up with them in time to return their help in kind. We never met socially to the extent that I could offer them help outside the job. I was restricted to the system of the work place to find a means of repaying them. They never complained but it bothered me because I felt indebted to them in one way or the other as they had given me the opportunity to exhale in my career. ‘How was it possible to help people who never needed help?’
Eventually I outgrew my position and moved on. Again things did not change in my new position, for the trend from the previous company followed me as I found myself again needing the support of others to make a difference. My debt had grown significantly as now I faced the prospect of not only owing my rescuers in the first company but the new assistance I was getting in my new role. A pattern was developing here that I could not make sense out of. I saw time elapse in my new role and found myself again gaining promotion with the strength and aptitude to now move up rank and change country. Here I was disappearing into thin air without the prospect of ever repaying the kindness that I had received. It was hard not to feel inadequate at such times and I made a promise to myself to return to them one day and balance the sheets.
As all things are possible when you put your mind to it my opportunity eventually came. With the many skills from my travels I returned to these companies expecting to restore balance. I had traveled the world and knew things that others did not. This was the chance I had been waiting for through the years and there was no better time to make matters even. Again I was in for another little surprise. I did things for them, believing I had restored my credibility but the joy in their eyes was none existent. Somehow try as hard as I did they never seemed to give me that sense of accomplishment. I did not see the awe in their eyes or sense the tingle of satisfaction from their demeanor. I found that even though my efforts where worth their while they did not give me the impression that we were even. If I was looking at ridding myself of this burden I certainly hadn’t accomplished it by this gesture. The right nods and handshakes were made but the fact remained that I was still lacking in my endeavors. I needed something else to make a difference and I certainly wasn’t going about it the right way.
Then I noticed another pattern developing, I too was becoming old in the job and the new recruits looked up to me for assistance. I was now a voice of wisdom and a liberator of others. With scanty eyes and vague expressions the graduates sought my assistance and I obliged them in any way I could, giving them every opportunity to make a difference and mould their careers. I was proud to see that I had contributed to their ambitions and supplied the necessary inspiration for them to make enormous career leaps. Soon I could not keep count of who had passed through my school of thought for the numbers increased and as time elapsed it became irrelevant.
After what seemed like a lifetime one of the graduates visited me and made it clear that he was available to help me in any way possible. He won’t give up no matter how many times I explained to him that his help was unnecessary. He was adamant in settling his debt and I could not find the words to let him know that this was not possible. The problem was he desired to help me in the way in which I had helped him. He desired to give me impetus for my career and inspiration to get further in life. Unfortunately having helped so many graduates I found his approach unbecoming. There was no creativity in his proposals as I always knew the reason behind them. They all boiled down to one thing. He was repaying a favor, and I could not see the point of this as I had not offered my help to him in the past in the interest of receiving something in return. It had been offered freely because I had received something from others freely. His desperation in trying to repay me now fell on deaf ears and to his frustration and dismay I was unable to give him the gratitude that he expected.
If anyone tells you that there are no coincidences in the spiritual world then believe them. With the Lord things are mapped out in a pattern according to his word. It is his wisdom that guides our existence and makes us understand the values that he has given us in life. In time I shared my own encounters with past colleagues and whilst confiding in them I mentioned the proposals that had been put forward to me by the graduate. To my astonishment I saw a sparkle in their eyes. They looked at me with gratitude as if I had just saved their lives. They congratulated me on my efforts and were truly amazed at how many graduates I had trained. Life had gone in full circle teaching me something that was spiritual. In the spirit there is no wisdom in paying back what you have received. To fully compensate your benefactor you must seek other means to see their smile in the rainbow.
‘I am full of your multiple offerings unto me, relieve the oppressed instead…’
Time evaded us as it usually does and as I grew in experience with the job so did my colleagues. I found myself chasing a moving train. I was never able to keep up with them in time to return their help in kind. We never met socially to the extent that I could offer them help outside the job. I was restricted to the system of the work place to find a means of repaying them. They never complained but it bothered me because I felt indebted to them in one way or the other as they had given me the opportunity to exhale in my career. ‘How was it possible to help people who never needed help?’
Eventually I outgrew my position and moved on. Again things did not change in my new position, for the trend from the previous company followed me as I found myself again needing the support of others to make a difference. My debt had grown significantly as now I faced the prospect of not only owing my rescuers in the first company but the new assistance I was getting in my new role. A pattern was developing here that I could not make sense out of. I saw time elapse in my new role and found myself again gaining promotion with the strength and aptitude to now move up rank and change country. Here I was disappearing into thin air without the prospect of ever repaying the kindness that I had received. It was hard not to feel inadequate at such times and I made a promise to myself to return to them one day and balance the sheets.
As all things are possible when you put your mind to it my opportunity eventually came. With the many skills from my travels I returned to these companies expecting to restore balance. I had traveled the world and knew things that others did not. This was the chance I had been waiting for through the years and there was no better time to make matters even. Again I was in for another little surprise. I did things for them, believing I had restored my credibility but the joy in their eyes was none existent. Somehow try as hard as I did they never seemed to give me that sense of accomplishment. I did not see the awe in their eyes or sense the tingle of satisfaction from their demeanor. I found that even though my efforts where worth their while they did not give me the impression that we were even. If I was looking at ridding myself of this burden I certainly hadn’t accomplished it by this gesture. The right nods and handshakes were made but the fact remained that I was still lacking in my endeavors. I needed something else to make a difference and I certainly wasn’t going about it the right way.
Then I noticed another pattern developing, I too was becoming old in the job and the new recruits looked up to me for assistance. I was now a voice of wisdom and a liberator of others. With scanty eyes and vague expressions the graduates sought my assistance and I obliged them in any way I could, giving them every opportunity to make a difference and mould their careers. I was proud to see that I had contributed to their ambitions and supplied the necessary inspiration for them to make enormous career leaps. Soon I could not keep count of who had passed through my school of thought for the numbers increased and as time elapsed it became irrelevant.
After what seemed like a lifetime one of the graduates visited me and made it clear that he was available to help me in any way possible. He won’t give up no matter how many times I explained to him that his help was unnecessary. He was adamant in settling his debt and I could not find the words to let him know that this was not possible. The problem was he desired to help me in the way in which I had helped him. He desired to give me impetus for my career and inspiration to get further in life. Unfortunately having helped so many graduates I found his approach unbecoming. There was no creativity in his proposals as I always knew the reason behind them. They all boiled down to one thing. He was repaying a favor, and I could not see the point of this as I had not offered my help to him in the past in the interest of receiving something in return. It had been offered freely because I had received something from others freely. His desperation in trying to repay me now fell on deaf ears and to his frustration and dismay I was unable to give him the gratitude that he expected.
If anyone tells you that there are no coincidences in the spiritual world then believe them. With the Lord things are mapped out in a pattern according to his word. It is his wisdom that guides our existence and makes us understand the values that he has given us in life. In time I shared my own encounters with past colleagues and whilst confiding in them I mentioned the proposals that had been put forward to me by the graduate. To my astonishment I saw a sparkle in their eyes. They looked at me with gratitude as if I had just saved their lives. They congratulated me on my efforts and were truly amazed at how many graduates I had trained. Life had gone in full circle teaching me something that was spiritual. In the spirit there is no wisdom in paying back what you have received. To fully compensate your benefactor you must seek other means to see their smile in the rainbow.
‘I am full of your multiple offerings unto me, relieve the oppressed instead…’
Monday, 21 June 2010
The tree of life...
I woke up one morning pondering through the landscape of events in our lives and asking myself why I had moved away from so many things and places. I wondered why we believed we needed to correct the mistakes of our past to make our future better. Each time I thought of a mistake in the past and the effort and imagination that was necessary to eradicate it from the future, life suddenly became bleak. As I sunk into this reverie of thought and counter thought without any signs for reprieve, I heard a quiet voice calling to me to listen to my spirit and not my needs and demands. So I said to this voice,
“Father, once again I am stuck for words to explain my misery. I have no consolation from my mistakes yet the world demands that we learn from them. If my past was a mistake because today I believe that I am not better off than I was before then why am I in such doubt to make these changes?”
And the voice of the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
“Father, it is because I hunger for more in life. I wish for better, yet it does not escape my mind that with better times come the weakness of heart and strength. However the pain surpasses me as the dilemma remains muddled in my mind.”
And again the voice of the Lord responded to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father, am I alone on this path? Is it my imagination that creates the world I live in? How can I understand the poverty in the world? How can I understand the tribulations that the poor face? Take the events of pollution, earthquakes, tornadoes that kill, what is the reason for this? Amidst all of this am I selfish in my thoughts for demanding that my life has more meaning, that I can seek a better place to dwell in. Can I help make it better for others?”
Once more the voice of the Lord answered me and said:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father like everyone else I watch the news, the programs, read books, magazines, newspapers, this is the way people lead their lives. A regular pattern is created and I can see that they exist in this pattern. On Sundays they go to church to worship you. Others don’t and care less other wise. A routine is built by doing what one prefers to do. I don’t have any answers, yet in all of this I ask one question why do I hesitate to follow this pattern or even to seek one?”
And once more the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father I have no idea why. All I know is that this is what everyone else seems to do. If one does anything different they say you are weird. Yet I can’t help but feel that if I do not do things differently then I become a victim of society. My goodness, Father has the world gone crazy! You should see the nonsense that I have to watch on television these days. Poor singers that claim to know much. Children that smoke at will and abuse their parents; divorces and countless marriages; rights, movements; expensive cars that one cannot afford, technology that makes man believe that he can get to mars, yet I am still bemused as to why! In all of this, Father the world has said that these things are normal and that we must live by them so I guess there is my dilemma. I have to accept these rules and live by them else I may be an outcast and then Father where would I be? So I think of the changes but still I have my doubts as to why I have to make these changes. Why should others control my virtues and my reasons for existing?”
And again the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
This is how things went on for awhile until I fell silent with nothing forthcoming. I had said what I had to and could think of nothing else. I had screamed and shouted at the storm and now I wondered at what else to say to the Lord and then the Lord said to me:
“My son, the spiritual man does not live by what he sees, what he hears and what society has to offer. He lives by my word and the spirit of truth in him. Do what feels natural when you feel like doing it because that is what I desire of you. It is wrong to do evil as I have said in my word, it is wrong to think evil as I have said in my word.”
And just as I decided to say:
“Father you are….”
The voice of the Lord thundered at me and said:
“SILENCE! You have spoken your mind and now you must listen very carefully. The spiritual world is not created from your imagination. I do not talk to the world by the things of men and what man creates from his machinations. I talk to the world by the truth of my word. I said that there would be offences in the day, so there are. The disasters of pollution, earthquakes, tornadoes, aids, sickness, famines are all real, moments of truth for you all to understand that I am real. I am the voice of the Lord and no man can change what I have said would be. What happens to all of you every day of your lives is what has to happen to all of you during this time of your life. Do not worry about others or what they think or what they believe. Do what is the truth to you and your spirit. If you abide by my word then all would be understood and revealed in time. I do not wish to give the world creations from man’s imagination and what man has chosen to be the values and virtues of life, I give the world my word and my promise for this is the truth and each moment in life is a period of existence of my word. So I give the world a moment of truth. Sometimes this is pleasant when you enjoy what I have made you to have and at other times this is not pleasant. In order for my word to abide in you it is necessary that on some occasions you all bear the burden of this truth. This does not mean that you will understand why things happen the way they do on all occasions. What is of importance to you all is that these things happen because I have said they would and that is my decision.”
And a silence beyond comprehension descended upon me as I wondered what I had just witnessed. For the first time it dawned on me why I was having those thoughts and decisions to make in the first place. They were another passing moment I had to live through. It wasn’t the fact that I was thinking what I was thinking or doing what I was doing it was simply the fact that I was living with the grace of the Lord within.
Today I have learnt that the spiritual world is not about the many wars, woes and throes that we face. The spiritual world is not about what we see on our televisions or what man has created to be our normality for us to live in. The spiritual world is about life and its breath within us.
“Father, once again I am stuck for words to explain my misery. I have no consolation from my mistakes yet the world demands that we learn from them. If my past was a mistake because today I believe that I am not better off than I was before then why am I in such doubt to make these changes?”
And the voice of the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
“Father, it is because I hunger for more in life. I wish for better, yet it does not escape my mind that with better times come the weakness of heart and strength. However the pain surpasses me as the dilemma remains muddled in my mind.”
And again the voice of the Lord responded to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father, am I alone on this path? Is it my imagination that creates the world I live in? How can I understand the poverty in the world? How can I understand the tribulations that the poor face? Take the events of pollution, earthquakes, tornadoes that kill, what is the reason for this? Amidst all of this am I selfish in my thoughts for demanding that my life has more meaning, that I can seek a better place to dwell in. Can I help make it better for others?”
Once more the voice of the Lord answered me and said:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father like everyone else I watch the news, the programs, read books, magazines, newspapers, this is the way people lead their lives. A regular pattern is created and I can see that they exist in this pattern. On Sundays they go to church to worship you. Others don’t and care less other wise. A routine is built by doing what one prefers to do. I don’t have any answers, yet in all of this I ask one question why do I hesitate to follow this pattern or even to seek one?”
And once more the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
And I said: “Father I have no idea why. All I know is that this is what everyone else seems to do. If one does anything different they say you are weird. Yet I can’t help but feel that if I do not do things differently then I become a victim of society. My goodness, Father has the world gone crazy! You should see the nonsense that I have to watch on television these days. Poor singers that claim to know much. Children that smoke at will and abuse their parents; divorces and countless marriages; rights, movements; expensive cars that one cannot afford, technology that makes man believe that he can get to mars, yet I am still bemused as to why! In all of this, Father the world has said that these things are normal and that we must live by them so I guess there is my dilemma. I have to accept these rules and live by them else I may be an outcast and then Father where would I be? So I think of the changes but still I have my doubts as to why I have to make these changes. Why should others control my virtues and my reasons for existing?”
And again the Lord said to me:
“My son, why do you believe that you need to make these changes?”
This is how things went on for awhile until I fell silent with nothing forthcoming. I had said what I had to and could think of nothing else. I had screamed and shouted at the storm and now I wondered at what else to say to the Lord and then the Lord said to me:
“My son, the spiritual man does not live by what he sees, what he hears and what society has to offer. He lives by my word and the spirit of truth in him. Do what feels natural when you feel like doing it because that is what I desire of you. It is wrong to do evil as I have said in my word, it is wrong to think evil as I have said in my word.”
And just as I decided to say:
“Father you are….”
The voice of the Lord thundered at me and said:
“SILENCE! You have spoken your mind and now you must listen very carefully. The spiritual world is not created from your imagination. I do not talk to the world by the things of men and what man creates from his machinations. I talk to the world by the truth of my word. I said that there would be offences in the day, so there are. The disasters of pollution, earthquakes, tornadoes, aids, sickness, famines are all real, moments of truth for you all to understand that I am real. I am the voice of the Lord and no man can change what I have said would be. What happens to all of you every day of your lives is what has to happen to all of you during this time of your life. Do not worry about others or what they think or what they believe. Do what is the truth to you and your spirit. If you abide by my word then all would be understood and revealed in time. I do not wish to give the world creations from man’s imagination and what man has chosen to be the values and virtues of life, I give the world my word and my promise for this is the truth and each moment in life is a period of existence of my word. So I give the world a moment of truth. Sometimes this is pleasant when you enjoy what I have made you to have and at other times this is not pleasant. In order for my word to abide in you it is necessary that on some occasions you all bear the burden of this truth. This does not mean that you will understand why things happen the way they do on all occasions. What is of importance to you all is that these things happen because I have said they would and that is my decision.”
And a silence beyond comprehension descended upon me as I wondered what I had just witnessed. For the first time it dawned on me why I was having those thoughts and decisions to make in the first place. They were another passing moment I had to live through. It wasn’t the fact that I was thinking what I was thinking or doing what I was doing it was simply the fact that I was living with the grace of the Lord within.
Today I have learnt that the spiritual world is not about the many wars, woes and throes that we face. The spiritual world is not about what we see on our televisions or what man has created to be our normality for us to live in. The spiritual world is about life and its breath within us.
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Friday, 23 April 2010
Eli - Pacific Book Review
Beautifully written in a first person format, Leslie Musoko brought me into the mind and thoughts of characters of immense spirituality seeking their destiny, in a masterpiece composition, ELI. Revelations between reality and the spirit world conflict within their minds, as his novel brought me into the depths of human awareness. Skillfully written using multiple dimensions of thoughts, feelings and actions of his protagonist, combined with the minutia of detail Leslie Musoko amassed from his life experiences and research, he constructs a philosophical pulpit. I felt transported into the mind of his character Cephas; seeing through his eyes, feeling through his touch, sensing all around him whilst listening to his thoughts, understanding his faith and witnessing first-hand his cognitive awareness. Kudos to Mr. Musoko for achieving such an artful literary feat.
I knew I was in for a treat from the very first page, during the Prelude, he writes, “Cry I say, cry I wish, yet there are no tears from me. I am all cried out, all dried up.” For those words written told me volumes about Leslie Musoko’s sensitivity and literary skills. His pen scribes an acme of articulation, reminiscent of eternal quotes and commensurate as a Shakespearian coinage. The introspective contemplative lamellate of his characters’ personality, juxtaposed against their logical layer, or public façade layer, divulges the depth of Musokos’ erudition of character development. The quest to find his character’s sanctuary in faith brings us all closer to our own. “Eli” translated meaning “My God” was exclaimed by Jesus Christ on the cross. “Eli, Eli lama sabathani,” said Jesus. “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”
Eli is the second of a trilogy series of writing about Cephas, a Christian put to tests of his faith through a series of challenging circumstances. Achieving an advanced caliper of literary percipience, Leslie Musoko’s Eli is recommended to all readers with a cultivated appreciation of character development, epic storytelling, and faith based philosophy. I found it to be challenging and stimulating. One thought, written somewhere in the storyline, Musoko stated how odd it is for humans to have evolved to a point in their use of language where at times it is used to mislead or mask one’s innermost feelings. How absurd a culture would embrace such deceptive tactics, he pontificated. Mr. Musoko leads no reader down a path of deception, nor does he fraudulently portray his thoughts. Eli is communication at its highest level of veracity.
Making your dream reality
Believing that we are all called upon this earth to do something is one thing, however putting it into practice requires a level of commitment that very few of us are willing to put in.
As a child I read all the books I could get my hands on. I did not care about the subject or what it was about I just read. Mine was a hunger that needed to be fed and escape from my environment into another, time and again was much needed respite. Soon I was contemplating my dream. ‘If only’, was always a good place to start. I identified my weakness. I needed experience, I needed to understand the world I lived in. If only I could travel, if only I had been to the places I wished to write about, if only I had time to dedicate to my dream then nothing would stop me. I traveled, I gained experience, I learned a thing or two about the world, time was afforded me, I decided to write.
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
Creating Eli and what went into it....
ELI means ‘My God’ and is taking from the Holy Bible in the words ‘ELI, ELI lama sabacthani’. ELI is a spiritual book and the second in a trilogy that begun with the book Divinity Dawns. It is partly an autobiography with the names of the characters in the book altered. It is set in Riyadh Dublin , Bahrain Brisbane London Lisbon , New York Douala Basel Geneva
Part one delves into the life of the hero Cephas as he discards his past and travels to the Middle East in pursuit of fulfillment and strengthening of his faith in God. He faces different tests physically, mentally and spiritually enabling him to come through better equipped with the strength and desire to fulfill his dream of writing about ELI. It is during his time in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
Eli Pacific Book Review by Gary Sorkin
Beautifully written in a first person format, Leslie Musoko brought me into the mind and thoughts of characters of immense spirituality seeking their destiny, in a masterpiece composition, ELI. Revelations between reality and the spirit world conflict within their minds, as his novel brought me into the depths of human awareness. Skillfully written using multiple dimensions of thoughts, feelings and actions of his protagonist, combined with the minutia of detail Leslie Musoko amassed from his life experiences and research, he constructs a philosophical pulpit. I felt transported into the mind of his character Cephas; seeing through his eyes, feeling through his touch, sensing all around him whilst listening to his thoughts, understanding his faith and witnessing first-hand his cognitive awareness. Kudos to Mr. Musoko for achieving such an artful literary feat.
I knew I was in for a treat from the very first page, during the Prelude, he writes, “Cry I say, cry I wish, yet there are no tears from me. I am all cried out, all dried up.” For those words written told me volumes about Leslie Musoko’s sensitivity and literary skills. His pen scribes an acme of articulation, reminiscent of eternal quotes and commensurate as a Shakespearian coinage. The introspective contemplative lamellate of his characters’ personality, juxtaposed against their logical layer, or public façade layer, divulges the depth of Musokos’ erudition of character development. The quest to find his character’s sanctuary in faith brings us all closer to our own. “Eli” translated meaning “My God” was exclaimed by Jesus Christ on the cross. “Eli, Eli lama sabathani,” said Jesus. “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”
Eli is the second of a trilogy series of writing about Cephas, a Christian put to tests of his faith through a series of challenging circumstances. Achieving an advanced caliper of literary percipience, Leslie Musoko’s Eli is recommended to all readers with a cultivated appreciation of character development, epic storytelling, and faith based philosophy. I found it to be challenging and stimulating. One thought, written somewhere in the storyline, Musoko stated how odd it is for humans to have evolved to a point in their use of language where at times it is used to mislead or mask one’s innermost feelings. How absurd a culture would embrace such deceptive tactics, he pontificated. Mr. Musoko leads no reader down a path of deception, nor does he fraudulently portray his thoughts. Eli is communication at its highest level of veracity.
Eli - APEX REVIEWS by Josee Morgan
As Cephas continues his trek to Saudi Arabia in pursuit of his inheritance, he soon discovers that discarding his past will be a much more difficult task than he anticipated. With his personal life steeped in confusion and uncertainty, not to mention his spirit nearly broken, Cephas is forced to rely on little more than his faith to survive in an increasingly challenging world. Little does he know, though, his current trials and tribulations - no matter how formidable - are just the beginning...
Thoughtful, moving, and deeply introspective, Eli is an immensely rewarding read. Skillfully crafted by author Leslie Musoko, this second installment of a compelling new trilogy takes the reader deep into the mind and heart of a devout Christian struggling to reconcile his faith with the often hostile reality that surrounds him. Not only that, he must also contend with the internal forces threatening to cloud his judgment and distract him from the all-important spiritual quest for which he's been pre-anointed. As deep as it all may sound, Musoko does a commendable job of framing Cephas' physical and metaphorical journey in clear, accessible terms, fostering a profound empathy within the reader - regardless of your specific personal faith. In so doing, Eli serves as an invaluable guide for anyone who finds themselves similarly conflicted in the spirit; by following Cephas' brave example, we will find it much easier to handle the emergent spiritual tests that unexpectedly befall our everyday paths.
Equally riveting and profound, Eli is an instant storytelling classic. Be on the lookout for more compelling works from this promising new literary talent on the rise.
Thoughtful, moving, and deeply introspective, Eli is an immensely rewarding read. Skillfully crafted by author Leslie Musoko, this second installment of a compelling new trilogy takes the reader deep into the mind and heart of a devout Christian struggling to reconcile his faith with the often hostile reality that surrounds him. Not only that, he must also contend with the internal forces threatening to cloud his judgment and distract him from the all-important spiritual quest for which he's been pre-anointed. As deep as it all may sound, Musoko does a commendable job of framing Cephas' physical and metaphorical journey in clear, accessible terms, fostering a profound empathy within the reader - regardless of your specific personal faith. In so doing, Eli serves as an invaluable guide for anyone who finds themselves similarly conflicted in the spirit; by following Cephas' brave example, we will find it much easier to handle the emergent spiritual tests that unexpectedly befall our everyday paths.
Equally riveting and profound, Eli is an instant storytelling classic. Be on the lookout for more compelling works from this promising new literary talent on the rise.
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