They say things like you don’t know me. With my back against the wall I have very little to lose. No gifts from the pot bellied man sliding down my chimney. No stopping at a red light at 3am in the morning. Am I not aware of the perilous nature of my existence? I have received obloquy in the best of times yet come back strong and unabashed.
Then they would say something like you don’t owe me. How can you? When all you see is your side of things, as if my purpose has always been yours. Am I the parent that must care for the child or the defender in your rye court of justice? The view from your mirror is a tawdry reflection that hides the mote in your eye. Can you see me as me for a change and not the you that’s scared of living? What is this message that you bring forth bearing tidings that rue the day I met you. Yonder sheds light beyond this fracas for I know that I have been with myself longer than you have.
Now and then they would say you cannot change me. I would change my own life for I have done so many times already. I have changed the way I walk, the way I dress and the way I talk. I have changed my eating habits, schools, jobs, exercise routine and views. I have changed many things, where I go to, where I’ve been and where I want to be. Your platitudes are in parody with the people that bore me. When I’m not with you there’s a lot more going on than you can imagine so go do your thing to those who need it.
When people don’t talk life talks to them. No one's privy to this except them and their maker. I guess there's no running away from this particular voice...
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Saturday, 19 February 2011
God's time is the best...
Finally on its way, laden with all the necessities to carry me forth. I have waited for this moment for many days. It has been a countdown for years. I’d turn up at the docks and be told there is nothing for you. It’s not time yet. I return home disheartened but my spirits again replenished as I realize I haven’t completed my work. There would be always something that I had failed to do or see. So I would work at this until it was completed and again return to the docks with searching eyes. The answer would be the same,
‘Go home it isn’t yet time.’
Today was different because the answer was different. The message was, it has just left the docks and it’s on its way so be prepared, it is now your time. In one way I am ecstatic because I have been waiting for this moment like forever. In another way I am in wonder whether it is my imagination playing tricks on me. Still I cannot be in doubt because I have been here many times before, when this happens. I can’t hide behind words nor is it about the evidence before me. I can hear the voices around me, I hear the sounds, walk the streets day and night still this calling is deafening, resonating from afar. This time the answer I get back is,
‘It is on its way, be prepared.’
I am not hungry nor do I thirst. I am just thoughtful staring into yonder. I shall jubilate in this moment and be grateful that I have waited this long, for safe passage to the haven I seek. I thank God for this comfort and for revealing his secrets to me.
‘Go home it isn’t yet time.’
Today was different because the answer was different. The message was, it has just left the docks and it’s on its way so be prepared, it is now your time. In one way I am ecstatic because I have been waiting for this moment like forever. In another way I am in wonder whether it is my imagination playing tricks on me. Still I cannot be in doubt because I have been here many times before, when this happens. I can’t hide behind words nor is it about the evidence before me. I can hear the voices around me, I hear the sounds, walk the streets day and night still this calling is deafening, resonating from afar. This time the answer I get back is,
‘It is on its way, be prepared.’
I am not hungry nor do I thirst. I am just thoughtful staring into yonder. I shall jubilate in this moment and be grateful that I have waited this long, for safe passage to the haven I seek. I thank God for this comfort and for revealing his secrets to me.
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Am I my brother's keeper?
It is early evening and in this quiet neighborhood with a light drizzling rain a bustle of wind manages to uproot the empty dustbin container on the sidewalk and send it sprawling into the road. The first pair of eyes comes along and stares blindly past the dustbin container lying innocently in the road and dismisses its existence. It is focused on its mission in purchasing milk from the corner shop several blocks away. The next pair walks past guided by the mind that is subject to events that happened earlier on in the day. A third pair of eyes skips a step or two infatuated in the world that awaits it at home.
A fourteen years old girl, waves goodbye to her friend and nods to her aunt as she rides home two streets away. It was a tough assignment but between the girls they have managed to crack the question and put something together respectable enough to earn full marks. As the leaves twirl in the wind, the girl starts whistling silently to herself because she knows something special is being prepared for dinner. It has been several months but finally she would see her elder brother who has been away. She is confident that her Mum will be home on time to put out the decorations and get the surprise party underway. She rides past her best friend’s dad and wishes him a pleasant evening.
A man is lying quietly in bed and realizing he can’t move a muscle. It is not what he needed on a day like this especially after so many months away from home. He would have wished to be there but the next best thing was sending his best friend instead. They grew up together and hopefully he would make do for the disappointment his mum may feel at his absence.
The first pair of eyes is returning from the shop and sees an ambulance scream past and wonders what lies ahead. He witnesses the little girl being pulled out from underneath a car and stretched away. The second pair of eyes walks into his home and hugs his wife and daughter trying to forget what happened during the day in his hateful career.
‘I saw your friend,’ he says to his daughter and she tells him of the assignment they just completed.
The third pair of eyes is already hard at work in her home and full of excitement because her son is coming home. She has no idea that her son’s best friend almost killed her daughter while avoiding the dustbin in the road.
It is late at night and the first pair of eyes goes to his knees to say his prayers before bed. He prays for the poor, the sick and the lame and for all those in trouble. He prays for the little girl and everyone else traumatized by the incident he witnessed that evening. Before switching off the bed lamp he opens scripture and reads the story of Cain and Abel. After this he shuts his eyes thinking Cain was a jealous and wicked brother and shouldn’t have killed Abel.
It is early morning and the wind of the night before is gone to reveal sunlight, the first pair of eyes pours milk into a bowl of cereal and asks God the question, what did Cain mean by ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’ The Lord’s response to him is,
‘Son you have eyes that cannot see.’
A fourteen years old girl, waves goodbye to her friend and nods to her aunt as she rides home two streets away. It was a tough assignment but between the girls they have managed to crack the question and put something together respectable enough to earn full marks. As the leaves twirl in the wind, the girl starts whistling silently to herself because she knows something special is being prepared for dinner. It has been several months but finally she would see her elder brother who has been away. She is confident that her Mum will be home on time to put out the decorations and get the surprise party underway. She rides past her best friend’s dad and wishes him a pleasant evening.
A man is lying quietly in bed and realizing he can’t move a muscle. It is not what he needed on a day like this especially after so many months away from home. He would have wished to be there but the next best thing was sending his best friend instead. They grew up together and hopefully he would make do for the disappointment his mum may feel at his absence.
The first pair of eyes is returning from the shop and sees an ambulance scream past and wonders what lies ahead. He witnesses the little girl being pulled out from underneath a car and stretched away. The second pair of eyes walks into his home and hugs his wife and daughter trying to forget what happened during the day in his hateful career.
‘I saw your friend,’ he says to his daughter and she tells him of the assignment they just completed.
The third pair of eyes is already hard at work in her home and full of excitement because her son is coming home. She has no idea that her son’s best friend almost killed her daughter while avoiding the dustbin in the road.
It is late at night and the first pair of eyes goes to his knees to say his prayers before bed. He prays for the poor, the sick and the lame and for all those in trouble. He prays for the little girl and everyone else traumatized by the incident he witnessed that evening. Before switching off the bed lamp he opens scripture and reads the story of Cain and Abel. After this he shuts his eyes thinking Cain was a jealous and wicked brother and shouldn’t have killed Abel.
It is early morning and the wind of the night before is gone to reveal sunlight, the first pair of eyes pours milk into a bowl of cereal and asks God the question, what did Cain mean by ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’ The Lord’s response to him is,
‘Son you have eyes that cannot see.’
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